Its Daddy's turn to be cute.

-

*Via sms*

Daddy: The more money I give you and the less time I see you. So when I miss you and want to see you more often, I know what to do..

Kelroy: Hahaha, its not that lah Daddy... From today till friday, I will be training at macritchie. Be my chauffer lah!

Daddy: I have to work harder for more money lay..

Kelroy: And i have to train harder to make sure your money dont go down to waste what..

-

Heh.

Anyway, Wilson is STILL growing and i actually mistook him for Daddy at times.

Bah, really tall lah...... T.T

Dont give me all sorts of rubbish and excuses.

Enough is enough.

Not that because its the time of the month of whatever.

yes, i do feel gloomy and shit but i swear i'm fine.

i got pretty irritated for the past few days over little things.

& also explains why im super tired and exhausted.

rest time was like never enough for me.

Losing blood is one thing.

Losing patience is another.

Before it gets really bad,

look, you're treading on thin ice, already.

come on come on..

Just 2 more days of shiong trainings.

Just 2 more days of this kind of long set shit.

Just 2 more days..

endure endure..

Friday's time trial...

Please please..

hang in there..

break(s) are coming.

its all gonna be worth it...

i know its all gonna be..

i need to let out my thoughts.

i need to start picking up the pen again.

i need to buck up.

i need more time.

i need to stop binging.

i need to stop venting.

i need to take care of the knees.

i need to take care of the wrist.

i need to get hold of myself.

i need to take care of myself.

i need to stop thinking that im superman who can take the world all by myself.

i need to start breathing.

i need to be happyyyyy.

a temporary change of k2 partner.

a change in k4 sitting arrangement.

a change of work schedule.

a change of this, a change of that.

Love to stress myself.

Hate stress.

Make sense? not.

Expectations are way too demanding.

it gets quite scary how much a perfectionist wants things to be perfect.

it'll just turn into something that no one wants it to be.

retarded people can fuck off from my life.
in case you didnt know,
i dont need you in my life, at all.

haiya im so tired,

i should just head to bed.

kbye.

Didnt get to meet drey at 10pm.

Went out alone to get stuffs that i need.

walked back to Northvale and sat below my block.

Someone came and accompanied me.

Thanks, you. :) Sorry if i did made you worry. and i hope i didnt utter rubbish.

I guess is was quite alright right? i mean, i knew what i was saying.. :/

just, when we were about to end off, i kept laughing and laughing? :/

Thanks, for sending me right up to my doorstep. :)

Thanks for rushing down just to pei wo.

Sorry to make you worryyy.

thankyou thankyou! :) Love you max. :)

Woke up this morning.

It wasnt much of a hangover but i just felt, i could continue deep sleeping.

drag myself to LSR, slept awhile and training started.

5 bigs marathon rounds followed by 10 sets of 250m with Xiaojun.

Sets was good, despite the pain in the knee. :/

PT, everything chop chop, had fun after training while watching others wash boats.

then bathe, lunch, and headed home for a short nap.

woke up dinner. T.T omg full.

and slackkkking now.

Gonna do schedule for the team later, and am gonna wash clothes.

annddd, im turning in early tonight.

tomorrow is a long day.

and i only hope my knee would be able to take it.

training and work from 3pm to 11pm.

-

The above was given to me from my sweetest partner. :)

heh, i wouldnt deny for the past few days my mood was screwed and bad.

Even while we were paddling today, i swear i was hardcore venting & she was suffering behind. :/

BUT my hardcore venting is not just piak piak piak through my sets one hor! I really did give my best shot, Xiaojun! Power comes with desperation! see, anger makes wonder too! :/

Thanks my dearest partner, thanks for the biscuits. I love you. :)

& also, wanna apologise to Joachim. :/

Sorry ok, i knew you were disappointed. Im really really sorry.

Thanks for being there, i knew you tried you best.

Im sorry for being stubborn, sorry for not listening to you.

& i knew you were worried, but im sorry, im really ok.

I hope you're feeling better today.

Dui bu qii.. :/you hen guilty de.

I do not know how to get through this.

Yes, im scared, i still refuse to break open that door.

Im worried and afraid that i cant control this further.

I do not know how am i gonna deal with it.

Let this be a note to myself,

if i ever set my heart on doing this, i'm gna give my best shot.

fuck, i swear i have to and i will.

just, its gonna be a gut-feel thing.

This barrier, its either i tear it down, or i'll take another route.

slowly, kelroy, slowly.

-

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I, baby I'm sorry to see
Maybe we're not meant to be
-
recommended from Xiaojun. :)
stucked in my head since then.

Yesterday was a bad day.

Bad enough.

But the day ended in peace.

lied on Furzion's tummy for 5 mins. :)

Took out New Moon and read 20 pages.

Got my mood calmed and then, stretch, sleep.

Reminder to self: alter your jeans pleaseeeee. T.T

im tired.

i hope i can sustain till 11pm later.

bwarh.

Few more hours, and here we go.

Confidence, strength, faith, hope.

something, that i need all in all tomorrow.

Determination, perseverance.

the green band on my hand states Confidence.

the blue band on my hand states Team.

& the red band, that was given to me for one month plus,

as a motivation.

I have to do this.

I'm gonna do this.

For once, for all.

Thanks for the prayer.

Thanks for calming me down whenever i got all nervous just now.

i've been missing out alot...

:)

partial-ed and left the class with the facilitator still in class. :/

before that was a surprise for Cheryl.

hahahaha, totally screwed and cannot make it.

but i hope you like the gift, dearest girl!

Joyce, we got to keep working hard enough luh!

ONE MORE YEAR!

thanks Kimo anyway!

hahahahaha,

i miss you two lots,

its been one year since we've known each other.

thanks for being there, dearest powerpuff girls. :)

Slack at the library with Bernice & Joachim.

Xiaojun then came along. :)

packed up around 2plus.

Met her friend at causewaypoint.

Chatted for quite awhile before Adeline came.

Headed to control station to wait for Angeline.

TOWN! :D

Shopping was great!

it seems forever since i last shopped for myself.

2 pants from Giordano for only $53. Super cheap.

1 tanktop from mooks for $23. Super cheap.

3 female Stretty undies for $15. Super cheap.

hahahaha, not bad eh! :)

Very satisfied. :D

Great fun in Mooks when Minghee was serving us.

Super funny when Xiaojun was using those tone.

laugh and laugh.

I love the tanktop i got.

hahaha, Xiaojun got the same one, just different colour & size. :/

hahahahaha.

Pastamania for dinner.

Full to the max.

Love the companion.

Love the food.

Love today.

heee.

many thoughts here and there. everywhere.

i've decided.

i've made my choice.

It doesnt matter much anymore.

and no matter what the status is,

its of no difference.

ke neng shi zhen de kan kai le.

im speechless.

but i will smile.

because it happened.

:)

I've been missing out alot.

really.

social life.

everything.

its time to step out of my turtle shell.

I'm so looking forward to my next two weeks of holidays.

Im so gonna enjoy it to the max.

you bet i will.

Train hard, NCC is in 3 weeks.

Nothing much else in my mind.

Just, enjoy, ignore, and stay happy.

Theres so much in life.

Look far, i know i'll be fine. :)

Goodnight readers. :)

Its a signal.

i've been working myself too much, too hard.

it feels like,

i've been torned apart.

my legs totally gave way during the 6 x 400m.

i saw it coming anyway.

after finishing the 3rd set,

the whole of the left thigh tighten up and the feeling was bad enough for me to remember it forever.

i think i attracted alot of attention when i was screaming and shouting in pain.

yes, super paiseh, but the pain was unbearable.

big thanks to those who helped me just now.

thanks to the teammates.

:/ very paiseh still.

sigh, more warm up kel.

do more cool down stretching, rmb rmb rmb.

its time to take a short break.

stop pushing yourself so hard.

its not worth it.

today was a bad day.

it started off quite well though. :(

as expected, IPA sucks.

Faci sucks.

and my bad again for not managing the anger well enough.

totally slam the laptop down and walked out of class.

but if not for UT, i would have just packed my bag and left.

sucks. -.-

miscommunication sucks.

body not able to take it sucks.

ok shutup.

im really tired.

really am...

My best T2/K2 Partner.

Her name is Gan Sheau Jun.

:)

ok, i have alot of pictures i will upload them slowly.

I've yet gotten all the pictures.

Slowly yeap!

Went for a run with Drey this morning.

Wasnt really productive though.

Managed to run up till bukit gombak.

Took a 10 mins walk.

Jogged back to CCK.

Stopped at Sunshine place to get a drink.

We walk/jog back to Lot 1.

Next week would be better. :)

See you.

Recommendation by Joyce. :)

Headed to Toy Museum with Joshua today.

I thought i was more excited than him. :/

The place was really cool but i thought it was bigger.

Then went for lunch at some Hainanese chicken rice store.

Heh, did i mention both of us were Hainanese? :)

The only difference is, I understand and speak Hainan and he doesnt. Hah.

Supposed to head Town but was really tired so back to the west.

Slept from 2 till 5.30. :/

As Popo aged, her demands are getting a little ridiculous.

Still, we try our best to give her what she wants and what she needs.

What about you?

Because your wife doesnt get along well with Popo thats why you're not taking care of her?

Im speechless.

Its definitely not easy for Daddy to take care of her even when she does things that we do not like. We still love her and we dont ignore her.

Ever since her fall, things may have been worse.

She cant bathe herself, feed herself, or even do simple stuff like pouring a cup of water or making a cup of coffee.

Just ask yourself what have you done for her.

亏她还那么爱你. 最爱的就是你.但你为了她做了什么?

Training starts tomorrow.

Demoralise yes but thats where determination comes in.

Jiayou.

Meeting Bryan & Joey for dinner tomorrow. :)

It seems long since i last saw them.

Hope it wouldnt be an awkward evening.

I should start packing up and stop using the laptop.

I should rest early.

Things to do:

Team, Team, Team.

Saving.

Adapt. Change of personality.

Stop bearing grudges.

Forgive and forget.

Controlling of diet.

Aim to run the long route to Bukit Gombak and back to CCK without stopping.

Run with/without Drey each week.

Sleep early, wake up early.

Prioritise. School is starting. Work.

many more but this are the main things.

Ok, goodnight.

today,
is,
not,
really,
good.

Popo fell this morning at the carpark where we were to pray to Gonggong.
She tripped over a curb and she totally fell flat. =(
i was walking infront with mum and sis and wilson was way infront of us and when i saw her fell, i was shocked, i was afraid.
She got a cut on her face, swell below her eye and a fractured wrist.
i thought she got a cut on her wrist but it was the bone poking out that cause the bleeding.
She was rushed to the A&E right after we send her to the clinic.
Went home with Xiuhui and Wilson. :/
Got to prepare for work still.

Sigh, this week is just a busy week for me
and im totally not prepared.
now Popo cant move her right hand, makes things very hard for all of us now.
Because dad and mum is working. xiuhui and wilson is schooling.
I got to be there for her now.
got to rush home every after training to cook and feed her and bathe her.

Seeing her in this state makes me feel not ok at all.
sigh, but what is done is done.
just got to hope that she'll be ok.

today work was fine. like i spend almost all my working hours in BnJ and yay because Wilson came over and help.
I miss working with him, him and his lame jokes and always like to disturb disturb.
hahahaha, though very strict about closing but hes damn fast. chop chop and done!
closing is so much better in bnj compared to amk. :/

so overall, working at bnj did lighten up my day alil.

probably because wilson was there to help too. :)

Joshie came to pick me. :)
yay. ok.
now.
got to stay focus.
Training, T2, Kicking, Twisting, Bursting, Longer strokes, Stretch.
not working this coming week for this weekends race.
still got to rush home for this week after training to look after popo.
ok.

I got to recover.
asap.
i need to.
oh gosh.
i really need to.

Im sick and tired of all your lies.
Im sick and tired of all your nonsense.
Im sick and tired of all your excuses.
You're fake.
Ultimate faker.
I tried my best to help you.
You disappoint me time and time again.
SO?
KBYE.

Im also sick and tired of whatever you're doing.
just stop it.
like, everyones helping.
u're running.
yeah
happily,
fuck them all.
i dun care anymore.
just, go, and, do, whatever, you, think, its, right.
continue being a fishmonger.

and i really mean what i said ytd.

if i could, if i had the ability,

without hesitation, i would.

im webcaming with my k4 girls.
im glad i have them.
I love them. :)

no matter what happens.

worse things can happen to me even further.

its ok.

cause i have them,

and they will always be there, to hold me, to support me.

Thanks girls, me love you 3 loads.

And Joshiie,

Me miss you tons.

You got to stop it.

Stop it, just S-T-O-P-I-T.

Nobody is perfect, you get that?

Stop being so demanding.

Stop being so insensetive.

Stop being so irritating.

Stop your attitude,

Because you're not a perfect person either.

Kelroy, just fucking stop it.

Fuck you.

Ok,

I know its been 18 days since 01 Jan.

I dont really believe in resolutions.

Its one more week to the big 18th.

Ok, maybe not really big after all.

Its kind of a note to self.

And something i really want to like, make it right.

OK! DONE! :).

ok, as for the bad habits like,

smelling my hands, and, leaving no space for the last seat on the sofa due to my bag stacking, not folding my blankie each morning and all, i'll try.
Maybe not enough, but i'm still trying HOR!

OK!

Updatesss!

This are the people whom have been revolving around in my life! :D

PHOTOS UP!

-

-

the day i bought my yellow crocs.

-

-

i got so excited about it that every few steps i take, i look down and admire my crocs.

and i'll go, "so cute leh!"

i think they got pretty irritated by me!

Markcus's Purple

Xiaojun's Red

Kelroy's Yellow

YAY! they wore crocs for me to take photo tgt!

IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE! i bet many were staring.

Like hey, hello, we're the crocs gang, wanna join?

Get a pair of cool crocs first!

No cool crocs, no join!

LOL! (Enna you can forget about joining!)

-

-

Triangle Love.

PLEASE LOL WITH ME!

When Beverly states who she wants to be with(Me or Markcus),

then i'll update you guys! :D

-

-

Me and Bev?

Me and Xiaojun?

Xiaojun & Bev?

Hmm. Very scandalous indeed.

-

-

this is their term of acting cute without smiling.

Xiaojun & Bev looks pretty fierce.

I was obviously um-chioing alr.

-

-

I bought the woodstock lanyard for her,

Joshua bought the snoopy one for me.

Freaking cute. :)

-

-

Say hi to Markcus.

-

-

Then to Xiaojun and Markcus!

-

Left: To Markcus, Xiaojun & Yuanyuan!

Right: Bought the kayaker jitbitz. CUTE!

-

OK!

Mass pictures of Xiaojun and Markcus.

Also, Bevie and Yuanyuan!

NEXT UP!

W47D!

-

-

Yvonne's 20th!

-

-

Ah, my striking yellow crocs. :D

-

Side track but yes,

This girl here.

Since the day i started canoe training, till now, shes still with me. :)

We weren't that close in the start, but as people walked away, i realised, shes the one i can count on.

Xiang Yi Wei Ming is the term we always used. Since we're in the same course, it make things so much better.

Common topics, complaining about the same thing, shared thoughts while paddling on T2.

We've come quite far, to now, on K2. :)

Shes quite a perfectionist and i'm quite stressful to paddle with her hor!

However, shes able to push me to my limits. :).

I know for the upcoming 2 years in RP, being academic wise or training, i know i can count on you. :)

I thank God for you. :D

Love you Xiaojun. :D.

Love, Your Eff-er. :D

(no Joshua, shes your hardcore fan, so stop thinking what u're thinking.)

Not forgetting the Wees.

I'll try to get a photo of the 5/6 of us up soon! :D

And i wanna take photo with MAMA & PAPA!~

Those who are interested in Ian, i'll probably see him during CNY,

try kae? :D

Enna, when can i take a photo with you?

Freaking dua pai hor. LOL!

Btw, thanks for the birthday wish LEH!

Idiotzxz!

OK DONE!

NO MORE!

BYEBYE!

HAHA, how can i forget this boy of mine. :)

-

-

Thanks for the times when you kept calm while i vented, cried, throw tantrums.

You leave the best for me, food wise, attention, everything.

You talked sense to me.

You keep me calm when i'm down.

You love me more than i do.

You stayed although i made you sad, hurt or angry.

Your faith, your trust, your love for me, made me feel special.

All in all, Joshua, I love you.

I'm definitely in love with you.

Still in love with you. :)

-sends global kiss-

TDDUP; LTIMH.

BED TIME!

NIGHTS!

I'm really treasuring my last few days in W47D and also before Semester 2 ends.

Break times are fun. Not forgetting that Andy and Cassie always give me Lu dan~~

Xiaojun, Markcus, Yuanyuan, Bev and Jo said that i must go see doc! =(

scare me, ok, reduce eating lu dan!

TRY TRY TRY!

Yesterday was really fun. New msn, Dynamic display pictures!

HAVING FUN RECORDING HOR!

HEHEHEHEHEHE!

Then break time was totally LOL too! :)

After school, went over to Xiaojun's class.

Markcus was there alr. Then Yuanyuan came!

OFF WE GO TO KHATIBBB!

GYM GYM GYM!

Yeah, did like normal training 3 push 3 pull.

3 x 12.

Then Bev and Jo came, to the pull up bars, train, try, push limits, pulllllll!

a little bit more, kellll. jiayou.

GO XIAOJUN AND MARKCUSSS!

JIAYOU!

Yuanyuan, nobody so skinny one leh. =(

HAHAHAHA!

Then coffeeshop for dinner. wah, we talk till like. O.O!

totally forget time. then i had to cut in and interupt. IM SO SORRY!

cause i really need to go home cause its already 10pm!

but i really had fun talking to like all of them. :).

damn funny, disturb here and there.

HEHE.

Then the sms came. =(.

anyway, its settled alr.

thanks ah, Bev! :D

Love love!

Good good good. :).

things are getting better, makes me more calm.

ok, back to work alr.

rahhh!!!

RAH RAH RAH!

:):).

PULL UP!

SHED FATS!

REDUCE CONSUMPTION OF FOOD INTAKE!

WOOOOO!

COME ONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

ok, training was horribly crazy yesterday!

due to the weather, due to the water current.

Afternoon training was really windy!

followed by the water current which seems like as if its hungry and it the waves wants to swallow people.

We had lots of boats which capsized, filled with water to the brim and it almost sink!

imagine, just imagine howwww bad it was!

K2 with Catherine was alright.

If im not wrong we capsized thrice but the 3 times was really quite tiring.

I kept swallowing water cause the wave was really bad!

then when you get up, the wind blew like AH SO COLD!

Yesterday was very tiring, scary but somehow fun.

Joanne and Bernice k2 filled with water but not that bad.

Chou meng's K1, Tomi and Kenneth's K2 WAS VERY BAD!

it was like, you dont see any boat. cause the boat was alr in the water.

SO SCARY!

and Yudi flew off his boat and the distance from where he was to where his boat was, was really quite far away. like maybe 50m?

Scaryyyy...

Rushed home after that for dinner at JP with the family.

bought another pink top from cotton on. (hardcore cotton on fan, yo~)

Got jeans from Giodarno.

Ok, should be done with CNY clothes. :)

Though lack the bottoms, dun care alr bah!

Was coughing and the nose was running before i slept and decided to take a good break today.

Supposed to cut hair in the morning but the salon was packed. i have to wait till after 5.

VERY LONG LEH!

but its ok luh. I dunno what to do with my hair this time round.

bahhhhh.

I need to pack my room.

I need to save up.

I need to really do lots of things.

I'm panicking, and its crazy.

My goal now,

FOCUS, STRENGTHEN THE MENTAL, AND BLOODY HELL PULL MYSELF UP THE BAR FOR AT LEAST ONCE!

!#$%^%$#!~

bye luh. =(