Turn this place into our private getaway.

238. Gotta be somebody.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009; 11:07 PM

最近心情果然越变越沉重.

i need to let out my thoughts.

i need to start picking up the pen again.

i need to buck up.

i need more time.

i need to stop binging.

i need to stop venting.

i need to take care of the knees.

i need to take care of the wrist.

i need to get hold of myself.

i need to take care of myself.

i need to stop thinking that im superman who can take the world all by myself.

i need to start breathing.

i need to be happyyyyy.

a temporary change of k2 partner.

a change in k4 sitting arrangement.

a change of work schedule.

a change of this, a change of that.

Love to stress myself.

Hate stress.

Make sense? not.

Expectations are way too demanding.

it gets quite scary how much a perfectionist wants things to be perfect.

it'll just turn into something that no one wants it to be.

retarded people can fuck off from my life.
in case you didnt know,
i dont need you in my life, at all.

haiya im so tired,

i should just head to bed.

kbye.

Labels: Deepthoughts, K2, K4, NoteToSelf

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205. Better in time.

Saturday, August 1, 2009; 7:04 PM

work was managable. :)

due to the shortage of people, agreed to extend till 12am.

however, Weawea says its ok, so i left at 11pm.

it feels good to start working again.

I met Wilson. :) hee.

"Hi, welcome to ben & jerry's!" (Y)!

hahaha.

working with friends is a good thing. :)

kept disturbing Enna. heh heh heh. :)

did main kiosk and thank goodness because i bet the scooper was having such a hard time.

11 small 4 toppings and 2 dips. WAH LAO!?

Anw, new comer happens to be my primary school friend.

Charmaine Koh. Wah its been long man man man.

so time flies quickly and 11pm, punch out, off we go!

training today was suppose to be chui.

Hardcore capsizing because Xiaojun & me tried xiao liangjin today. :)

not bad, gliding of boat = (Y).

water current = (N).

but in anyway, the 10 x 400m sets were good.

tired, face burnt, and after lunch, home, napped and out to buy dinner.

Bored, tired.

Training tomorrow.

hope water current would be slightly better.

ever since NYP DB moved to LSR, it has really been crowded during saturdays.

and the DB's wash is ultimate best one. -.-

after training will head home to nap. then 6pm report at Night safari. :)

working till 11. hehhh.

though its tearing me apart.

though its gonna bring me down.

i guess its just the process.

because by falling, i'll learn.

i know i will.

its a slow death but as far as i know, i'm still able to endure it.

why do this,

because this is the only way left,

to help myself.

I will be ok. :)

ok, BYE! :)

Labels: K2, Training, Work

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198. Back on track.

Sunday, July 26, 2009; 9:16 PM

Thats it.

Thats the end of NWKC.

Disappointed yes but still, overall im glad we made it into the finals.

200m & 500m.

Though 5th for both, it is ok.

New experience gained.

Especially the panicking moment when I caused the capsize of us both just right before the start of the race where all the boats were aligned. :/ Sorry Xiaojun.

But im really glad, because all that we've went through, thank God you stood by me. :)

Despite me being such a %#$#!#$%^&*%$! partner but still, you're patient enough to endure my nonsense.

Sorry for getting so affected for stupid things each time before race or training sets. :/

I will learn how to not bear grudges. I promise.

After Saturday & Sunday,

I saw the true colours of people.

Heartbreaking, it may be.

but i vowed never to let my J feel this way.
Never.

OK, time to get back everything.

Re-assembling all my thoughts and focus.

come again, once more.

1) School work & Canoeing.

2) Working.

3) Rest.

Yes, have been accepted and am going back to work.

Never in AMK anymore but i have to sacrifice to work for long hours.

Friday - 6 to 11.

Sunday - 2 to 11.

And I'll make it a MUST to eat dinner with my family every Saturday! :)

Nothing matters much more now than the Wees & the friends.

Life for the upcoming days would be tough.

Especially to juggle between school work, trainings & work.

but i'll try, i'm gonna try, my best.

& when week 16 comes, i promise to do my best in all the UTs.

& when i get my first pay, i'm gonna bring the Wees to Novena for a meal.

& when my knee recovers, i'm gonna start running like mad & train uberly hard.

& I'm gonna make sure, everything i've planned to do, i will do it.

& I'm gonna assure myself that, all the pain and hardwork, will be worth it.

Life is great.

Thank God for everyday!

:) Till then!

Labels: Family, K2, Training, Work

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159. NCC.

Sunday, June 21, 2009; 10:07 PM

Together with Xiaojun,

fought from heats, to semis, to finals.

200m, 1000m.

We never knew we would be able to fight our way all up to finals,

though we weren't able to win anything,

i would say, well done, really well done.

Thank you, for everything.

Without you, i wouldnt have make it.

Love you, to the max.

Ultimate devil.

Straight finals for K4.

For the first K4 race i've had,

or, rather the first K4 race we 4 participate in.

our virgin race,

we still have alot more to improve on.

but thanks for everything.

Catherine, Adeline, Xiaojun.

I would not forget how we actually came so close togther. :)

Roller blading session, Thomas and friends watch, ooVoo conference.

Jiayou, in NWKC, in Polite.

Tired, school tomorrow.

Goodnight world.

Labels: K2, K4

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151. Perfect in place.

Sunday, June 14, 2009; 9:09 PM

IN LESS THAN A WEEK, NCC!!!
NCC NCC NCC NCC!
lol,
ok throat is down, voice is weird.
So is Xiaojun.

its quite funny to speak on the boat when both our voice is bad.

lol, xiaojun's one is worse..
oh no oh no.
got to take care take care take care!

and to all the other canoeist, take care!

gulp water like mad please!!!

yes, everybody everybody!

ok, sat training was 1 set of 1000m, 500m and 200m in k2.

then headed down in k4 for our 1000m and it started raining like mad.

scary please. the rain was heavy and its quite painful.

vision was blur, water was choppy.

bahhhhhh.

pack up, headed back to LSR to bathe.

Pokes picked me up from khatib and headed down to bugis.

then brought me to bencoolen.

cheap stuff, anddddddddd,

found this. :)

heh, chio ttm please.

wanted to get back the same black everlast but, serves no meaning anymore.

ok, im so gonna protect this and my red everlast baby. =(

todays training was not bad. :)

last chionging session with coach.

so yeah, time to do more reflection and visualisation.

come on k2,k4 jiayou lets go!

im drained.

really.

ever since camp.

wed training.

thur training.

fri training.

sat training.

today training.

tmr training.

tues training.

wed training.

thurs training.

friday rest.

sat ncc.

sun ncc.

(Y)

power.

ok, back to school tomorrow.

whine and whine and continue whinning.

ok i feel like i have alot of things to do.

but i need to get more rest.

totally overslept today.

luckily mum woke me up.

ok, i got to kicked the habbit of snoozing.

seriously.

oh, i've gotten myself a new pair of spects cause i lost the black rectangular one i have.

guess what.

i ordered it that day.

the next day, i found my black spects.

ALWAYS LIKE THAT ONE LEH!~

but nvm, the spects i got was prettayyy.

chio metallic red.

wooo!~

(L)

okok, back to do my stuff,

lovezxzxz.

BYEZXZXZ!

Labels: K2, K4, Training

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150. Canoe camp 2009.

Friday, June 12, 2009; 10:05 PM

HELLLOZXZXZXZXZXZ!

ok, i've lost my voice.

my voice is super, deep and rough. :/

it sounds weird when i start laughing.

okkkk~~~

Camp was, not too boring, not too bad?

just alright. :)

did enjoy myself at certain part of times.

all i know was that im really drained from the first day's training.

especially land training.

Circuit totally killed me.

2 mins of 7 exercises can die.

especially tricep and benchpress.

knock the weights twice on the back of the neck bone while doing tricep. =(

teared a little.

pain okkk...

but after circuit, my arms were screaming in pain.

shaking, shivering. =(

madnessssssss.

second day more relax. but still, it was really scary.

k4 is getting better. so is k2.

switch boat to rp 12.

Hope things will get rather fine.

please please please.

i really need to get used to the rudder asap.

no matter what.

Boats have been shifted to macritchie and i hope training for tomorrow will get better and sunday too!!!!

*starts to chant and pray*

Its one more week to NCC.

thinking about it, makes me uneasy all over.

im really nervous.

its my first race on K2.

my third race with Xiaojun.

My first race on k4 with the k4 crew. :)

Jiayou, jiayou, jiayou!

and my parents are coming down on sunday to support me?

so random, so weird, so. i dunno. :/

but still.

oh well.

gonna whack hard and do my best.

Come on Xiaojun!

Come on K4!

We're gonna make it!

anddddddddd. i dropped my black everlast watch into LSR.

i cried over it for like i dno how long. =(

Placed in on the tape of the 3rd comain of k4.

tape totally came off when we capsized and there goes my beloved watch.

no words can describe how i was feeling at that point of time.

tears just gushed out like nobody's business.

and yeah, to those who think i was crying over something stupid, please go and die.

sigh.

It meant alot to me.

it meant so much to me.

i've only owned it for like 5 months plus.

Its not even half a year old.

im really fucking sad.

and really, really, nothing could be done, and im feeling, super upset.

jie, im really sorry..

i know you're really angry and upset over this but im really sorry.

my bad, that i didnt take good care of it. im sorry.

wrong person to seek comfort to.

your reply was unexpected.

it hurts.

but, forget it.

nothing much matters anm.

Im gonna head to bugis to get a new watch tomorrow.

i know its not gonna be the same meaning or whatever.

but, im really sorry jie.

I wont forget that you've put in great efforts to get it for me as my 18th birthday present.

I love you still, please forgive me.

sigh, heavy hearted when i passed by the spot i dropped the watch. =(

sigh, couldnt do anything much.

guilty, yet... sigh.

ok, im gonna turn in soon.

i didnt really get much rest during camp.

goodnight.

i'll try to update as much as possible.

trainings, UTs, school, NCC.

soon, see you.

Labels: K2, K4, Team, Training

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114. you're the best i ever had.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009; 10:55 PM

Dear Xiaojun,

I know i've said it many times, but i still want to say it.

yes, again, and again.

countless times.

Thanks for being such a patient partner, who never once scream at me when i go wrong.

I'm sorry for the 2nd and 6th set today.

Anger makes wonder.

Power came from wonder.

And power comes with desperation.

I'm sorry that i almost killed you during the second set for my crazy fast strokes.

Im sorry for pushing so hard for the 2nd and 6th set.

And i thank you for staying still so patient with me despite capsizing over and over again.

Im sorry about the first set when we capsized.

because i allowed myself to lose focus.

Im sorry i thought of their words and got affected.

Im sorry i brought emotions into paddling.

I knew we could have done better.

I'm really sorry to actually allow myself to even go think about what they said.

Thanks for the heartwarming words you said behind me.

Thankyou for encouraging me.

Thankyou for instructing kicking despite feeling breathless.

Thanks for motivating me.

Thanks for all that you've done behind me when we're on the same crew boat.

Today's training was bad.

Im sorry i wasted your energy and time.

but good job to the sets that we did well.

Thanks, for always reminding about my mistakes.

Singing to me, and telling me that things are gna be ok.

Though you're the first but i dont care i'm gona say this.

You're the best partner i ever had. :)

Love you to the max.

You were right,

we dont have to bother and get affected by them.

efforts put in, we know ourselves well.

Jiayou, Xiaojun.

We're gonna make it.

Labels: K2

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