Turn this place into our private getaway.

269. Rest.

Sunday, October 4, 2009; 5:19 PM

I really need tons of it.

I'm still feeling tired.

Like hardcore tired.

idk whats wrong.

Friday marks the end of the 5 weeks intensive training.

Glad, relieved and really really worned out.

Went back to the shed to party after evening session but i was practically trying my best to stay awake.

Wouldnt deny that i had fun but mood went down immediately after leaving LSR.

Yes. trained my 5 weeks away.

Im glad, happy and all.

Improvements leads to satisfaction.

Now awaits the big big day, the big race, the big name.

Work was tiring.

but early shift is better cause time seemed to pass faster..

I'm very tired now.

idk why.

upcoming week only wed and sat sunday training.

rest day on monday tuesday thursday friday.

friday should be working.

gonna make full use of it..

i've been missing out way too much...

I need to get shoes.

My canvas are dying on me.

Everlast sneakers hurts alot when i wear them for long.

why does SHL have to ban students from wearing sandals also.

tmd..

so mafan esp when i have training.

OK SUPER TIRED WHINES TO THE ULTIMATE MAX

OKBYE.

after 4 long days.

finally..

seeing you was like..

Labels: Rants, Training, Work

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263. Burned out.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009; 11:27 PM

Its the last week of holidays.

I practically train the whole of my holidays away.

Its the last week, and im still gonna be training.

Exhausted, max.

I dont know how to deal with this.

I think after this 5 weeks of holidays, im used to have afternoon naps especially around the time of 1pm - 3pm like that.

Thats bad, I'm suppose to be doing ppt at that timing when school reopens.

ahhhhhhh.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

"Series of time trials"

Sounds freakingly scary.

Training at macritchie, time trials at macritchie.

i sense danger.

The only thing that makes me happy training there now is that i'm able to bathe and smell nice on the way home.

Yishun totally banned the toilet facilities and we're not allowed to bathe there anymore.

what. the. hell.

I'm really tired.

i really wanna skip training and rest home now.

it gets really bad in the morning.

i dread doing speed work endurance now...

omgosh. just kill me and die man.

tiredddd.

I felt like Ironman today.

12 x 250m which i forgot we stopped at probably like 8th or 9th set?

3 max pull up, 2 x 12 ballistic throws.

followed by, the crucial one.

headed to the stadium.

6 x 400m sprint set.

Hello, i'm still alive.

Anyway, i got a little emotional while running on the track just now.

i swear i love running.

i really do... =(

but, no ability to, anymore. =(

Fucking sad.

Anw, im merely ranting and complaining my way through this post just ignore.

im just tired lah can anot. tmd.

however.. :)

despite the packed training schedule during the weekdays,

& me working during the weekends,

you'd still make yourself free during my free time just to meet me up.

though sometimes its just half an hour or so...

thankyou, really appreciate your efforts and all.

looking forward to breakfast tomorrow now.

<3!

ok,

I had a sinful dinner which cost me only $4.

like, no, you wouldnt wanna know what i've eaten but i swear it feels so good. (Y).

heh heh heh.

and and and,

Xiuhui told me she went running today.

cute or what.

Imagine my sister, smaller than me, going on a diet.

omg, how depressing.

What. Am. I. Doing. Tell. Me.

Joke of the week:

Mummy and I touched on the topic of lesbians while we were in the car heading home after dinner on Sunday.

She was sitting infront, and me at her back.

Mummy: yeah you better not like go mix around with them or what if not you become one.

Kelroy: *silent*

Mummy: *turns around* OR ARE YOU ONE!? EVERYTIME XIAOJUN XIAOJUN XIAOJUN!

Kelroy: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Tell me my Mummy is cute too. ^^

Labels: Family, Training

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260. TiK ToK.

Friday, September 25, 2009; 11:14 PM

woo, change of blog song.

cause, im being childish.

i dislike this particular one having the same blog song as me.

Joachim intro this song:) Nice and bimbotic.

try dancing to it.

hah.

Despite skipping training twice this week, i feel damn exhausted.

like, drained max.

Kengwi came back after closing two weeks.

ah, today sets was do-able but i guess everyone was really tired due to the shiong trainings everyday and the sets became a torture to us.

tell me why does 30seconds on seems so bad to me now... T.T

Kengwi cancelled the evening session and thank God for that.

just 2 time trials of 400m and thats it!

yayyy.

wanted to go and see doc tomorrow.

but decided not to anymore.

heal hips heal.

headed home to bathe because yishun banned the toilets.

dno how to bathe next week leh.

pek cek hor. -.-

bathed and out to the salon.

i stoned and allow the ass to rot in the salon for close to 3 hours.

imagine.

but worth it lah.

my hair is like. *raise brows*

:D!

then to westmall to meet up with Xiaojun.

Angeline took way forever to arrive and we had Pastamania. :)

ahh, then chill awhile before heading home..

very drained and shagged.

i feel like.

dying.

like.

batt dying kinddd.

ok lah, blog again soon?

im really tired..

more than words.

like, thankyou:)

indeed, winning is better than buying.

but still, thankyou.

tell me, what can i do for you..

its just not enough..

i miss you, a whole lot.. know?

Labels: Angeline, Haircut, Training, Xiaojun

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256. Joyful delights.

Monday, September 21, 2009; 9:30 PM

Take a look hereeeeee.

i had fun at the beach with the 5 other mighty girls. :)

burnt, had fun and all, love them all.

Photos, at facebook! check them out! :)

Hereeee,

a chocolate caramel bar from another half, how sweet! :)

Heh, i have ai xin snacks from Xiaojun too ok!

Stop showing off ah, Angeline & Catherine.. :P

Was really depress today.

Nobody train on public holidays one lah. :(

but still, made it to LSR. complete training, and dinner with the family!

thhhheeeennnn, a visit to Mama's place!

like, finally!?

WHEEE!!!!

Rae was around!

It was my first time seeing her and i actually carried her for quite some time? :D

Very serious girl know? Mama was feeding her and she started bawling.

Meiyi Jiejie says she doesnt like noise when shes being fed.

heh heh heh.

Ian has grown too!

So cute!!

i went like, Iannnnn!!! Do you remember meeee????

then he replied, ting ting gu guuuuuuu.....

AWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

max max max. SO ADORABLEEE!

heh, very naughty boy alr. but still. a very loving brother towards Rae?

Refuse to let Mummy bring his mei mei home. haha.

Look at the two pictures he took together with Rae.

the way he twist. hahahaha, so cute please.

hee, he actually wanted to follow me home!?

He went to take his pampers and tell Papa, wanna change so can go home with me.

hahahaha! :)

so before he starts crying and all, i told him i'll visit him again! :)

OKOKOKOKOKOKOK NOW NOW NOW!

THIS ONE IS HARDCORE!

LOOK AT HOW TALL HE IS NOW!

EVERYWEEK HE JUST SEEMED TO BE TALLER AND TALLER AND TALLER ZOMGOSH!

please do something!? T.T

HAIYO MANNNNN!!!

Btw, just ignore his hair, its just, lol, not right, because his hair got this weird thing lah. haiya.

anyway, i like the first photo of me and Wilson? :)

very nice. hee. very look alike. :)

Afterall, day ended off well though i was really quite depressed in the morning.

T.T.

Goodbye Monday,

Hello Tuesday!

Labels: Family, Friends, Nanny, Training, Xiaojun

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248. Even if the sky is falling down.

Monday, September 14, 2009; 12:20 AM

Ok, first up!

TAKE A LOOK AT RPC'S WORDPRESS!

BIG THANKYOU TO BEVERLY BRENDA KIM! :)

Very nice, very cute, very very goodzx. :D

http://republicanoe.wordpress.com/

Second, Adeline's Livejournal!
-
the Pol-ite feel is finally here.
to attend training, to train hard, to give it our best no matter how fatigue we may be feeling
its to the extend that our hands turned cold and numb, injuries starts to hurt but just continue to grit our teeth, flinging our arms, twisting our bodies, kicking and pulling, every strokes making the best of it.
know what's the best part?
it's when you turn around and see that you're not alone.
that you see the other 8 girls,undergoing the same shit as you, enduring the same pain and motivating.
9 K1 boats all lined up together, every now and then, full attendance.
how often do you see such a scenario. its totally un- describable

girls who don't bother much about getting their hair all short (except for cath and sihong)
girls who doesnt mind being bulky and tanned up like African kids
girls who doesnt bother when the guys said " huh, our team where got girls? all so man"
girls who train and play hard like nobody's business at the same time
tell me where to find such amazing girl's team

Pol-ite is going to be the last race for the senior batch.
lets make it happen this year. last year we had the women championship, this year, both.
we have been training really hard, continue striving and we will reap what we sow.
lets not even bother about those irritating whiney ones for now for they will only get into our nerves and make us suffer even more.

LAI ! lets all do it together. to both guys and girls who are worthy. Republic Canoe SA!
-

Ahhh. how nice. :)

Makes me smile. heeeeeeee.

OK, its gonna be monday.

Another week of intensive training.

I took leave for the whole of this week.

Training + Fun + Relaxing. :)

Lets see.

Monday - head down to Wilson's chalet after training. His engagement party! :) Then Nat's gonna give me a lift home since he stays nearby and whee, good. saves alot of trouble. :)

Tues - Training + steamboat(??).

Wed - Might have plans in the morning followed by training.

Thursday - Training.

Friday - TGIF! Training + Chilling.

Sat - Family day.

Sunday - Sentosa~ :)

Ahh. perfect!. :)

agreee with me.

OK work was quite retarded today.

haiya, nothing much to say anyway.

Anyway morning went to help out at the Mizuno wave run at NYP.

we were complaining like, damn gehkiang and all but oh well, we did had fun.

Baggage was chaotic esp when runners collect their bags but haha, shutter run, running forward and backward, shouting of toto numbers. heh. cooliozx. :)

Where do you find this kind of events with your teammates helping out.

Though there were only mostly senior guys + full attendance from girls, still, we had our own fun.

Though didnt get jersey size but all was fine.

Just that i woke up at 4am, spent $10.50 early in the morning cabbing to Xiaojun's place.

then another $6 to NYP.

Followed by me whining badly, close to flaring up at everybody because the migraine was like, wanna trigger dont wanna trigger off.

Heh, after awhile was fine.

Till leaving NYP, trained home with Xiaojun. :)

her turn to whine. haha.

Reached home bathe smack straight into bed till 2.30. bathe again and work!

OK NOTHING MUCH ALR RIGHT!

oh, meet up with Yeewen, Michelle and Mr Cris.

hmm, still alright? didnt really catch up alot. but better than nothing.

many thoughts, but, forget it.

OK.

THE END. :D

So.. let me see...

yknow, your words worked like magic.

unpredictable, special, surprising, and O.O!

yeah, like that.

everything that comes from you never fails to bring comfort to me.

The way you ease my mind is like, way damn unique.

"you like my sugar, my sugar, you so sweet, so sweet."

heh.

hello gangster,

where are you?

Labels: Deepthoughts, Team, Teammates, Training, Work

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245. The Mighty Ones.

Saturday, September 12, 2009; 11:20 AM

I like this photo alot.

The 5 seniors look exceptionally good.

Sihong looks (Y).

-
The 4 little ones. :D

Ok like i was saying, i guess as compared to other girls who are training,

They would mind about getting big, getting tanned and all.

But RPC girls just whack, without fear, without bothering getting bulked up and all.

Thats the difference.

& look at other teams and you see all the ponytails.

Ours just keep getting shorter. :/ (except cath's and sihong's)

Polite would be the senior's last race.

& no matter how hard i try to convince myself that, its ok, still can keep in contact what..

but fuck, i sure do will miss them, like a whole lot. =(

ok no emo kae.

yeah, anyway, all the strength speed endurance training is making me bulked up.

I mean it.

I dont usually gain alot from training, like last year or whenever.

But this time, just this time, i feel it.

My arms, my shoulder, fwah.

Not fat not fat luh!! >=(

just, very big, thats all. :/

OK WHATEVER!

I LOVE THE GIRLS! :D

Labels: Team, Teammates, Training

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243. Fire burning.

; 12:20 AM

i mean it when i said just shut up and train.
Seems like some people are still -.- damn. -.-. like that.
very irritating, very annoying.
this feeling is getting worse eh. -.-
its not a good sign.
i bear grudges much, know?

So i guess neither of us realise we've been training 2 weeks straight this way?
3 sessions of training everyday.
Crazy as it may seemed.
Appetite has grown, like, alot.
Despite burning lesser than the others due to the knee & not running tgt with the team but still, i'm burning the carbo so i guess its still fine to remain the appetite this way.
As it came to one point that, we either sleep and rest in the bus, or in the shed.
Excluding Monday & Thursday since we head back to RP to gym.
Tues, Wed, Friday. After lunch = head back to the shed to sleep.
I'd then go to that spot of mine, make myself comfortable, and then drift off.
Its quite nice to sleep there, really. :)
I mean, i think LSR has become another home for me and that, though its like filled with leaves, some ants crawling here and there, i guess i wouldnt really mind much but to just lay down and, sleep. :D

Training is turning like a crazy shit for all of us.
I swear! Its like, crazy, insane, & you just go to break through all your emotions, mental barriers and everything. Cause its impossible to go through just the motion and then pack up and go home. I swear you'd learn something and get something before packing up and heading home in the evening.

Yesterday we did 30s on 30s off. it was CRAZY. Frequency and power must be there and executing it was mad terrible. Your arms are flinging all around, no matter how tired, how sore, you just got to keep going. I swear at the end of ytd, satisfied much but it was really chui.
Today was 1 min on and 30s off. another chui session of training. luckily it was evening. morning session was 8 x 250m with a short hose tube tied underneath the boat which causes great resistance and paddling, kicking and twisting was like, WHACK SUDDEN AND HARD. like, hen tong leh. =(.

Yes, knee is, like, bad, *shake head* bad.
idk what else i can say alr. i just got to keep relying on tape. hoping and wishing i'd get through all till after november 29.

Training is crazy. Pain is crazy. but believe me when i say i'm loving the pain.
The feeling of your body feeling sore and sour when you wake up in the morning makes you wanna cry but deep down, the sense of achievement and satisfaction would be there, no doubt.
I believe, after this 5 weeks of intensive training, i will grow stronger.
Especially in mentality, definitely, much more stronger.
You just wouldnt know how crazy it is.
I just dont know how to let you know.
Thank goodness, the 8 girls are with me.
Tell me about it.
RPC mighty girls.
9 of us, paddling in k1, full attendance, chionging together.
Believe me when i say its a beautiful sight.
Beauty that you do not see on the external but internal.
just 9 boats, 9 girls, giving their best, heading towards the same direction, sharing only one goal.
tell me about it.

Check out facebook for our photos kae. :)

So like since it was running for the 2nd session of training today, everyone went ahead and i was left in the shed alone.
Pulled the stool over to my favourite corner, sat down and started reading, A Walk To Remember.
Filled with emotions, thoughts, and all sorts of those words you can relate to.
The rain started getting heavier. It was some kind of add on ambience shit thing that makes my mood even more. omg.
I swear i was so into the story and i started going crazy and people who came back from the run thought i was crazy.
gahh. end up crying, end up drying up the tears and end up tearing again.
Gosh.. (Y). the book was a good one, a very good one.
So again, i've learnt something new today! :)
The book was really great.

Today is friday, & i didnt have to work.
So head straight home after training today.
Unpacked and head out to meeting Xiaojun, Angeline & Joachim for supper.
Then back to Northvale playing games, having random talks and yeah, time to go home.
ok this is random but im staring out my balcony. the moon is, really nice tonight?
like, orangy red though its half covered by clouds but its really pretty.

Yay to weekends, sleep in more?
nahh.
I'm meeting Mr Cris, Yeewen & Michelle tomorrow evening for lunch. :)
Sunday 6.30am at NYP for helping out at the Mizuno run, then chionging down to the zoo to work at 3 - 11pm.
then its back to intensive training again!

Days are getting pass very very fast.
It gets a little torturous at times but i knocked off fast enough before i start having wild imaginations.
I wouldnt really say that everyday was a good day because, things are just not ok.
I hate pretending that things are fine.
I hate going through everyday like this. but.
I really dunno what else i can do.

-

It's never enough to say I'm sorry
It's never enough to say I care
But I'm caught between what you
Wanted from me, and knowing
If I give that to you
I might just disappear.

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

Oh, it's like

One step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind,

Oh, it's like

Trying to turn around on a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me and I, I'm starting to see
Maybe we're not meant to be

It's never enough to say I love you
No, it's never enough to say I try
It's hard to believe that's there's
No way out for you and me
And it seems to be,
The story of our life

Nobody wins when everyone's losing

It's like one step forward and two steps back
No matter what I do you're always mad
And I can't change your mind, oh
It's like trying to turn around on a
One way street. I can't give
You what you want and it's killing me
And I, I'm starting to see
That maybe we're not meant to be

There's still time to turn this around
Should we be building this up
Instead of tearing it down
But I keep thinking
Maybe it's too late.

It's like one step forward
And two steps back,
No matter what I do
You're always mad and I
Can't change your mind, oh
It's like tryin to turn around
On a one way street
I can't give you what you want
And it's killing me and I,
I finally see,
Baby we're not meant to be

I don't need what you're giving me.

Labels: Deepthoughts, Friends, Team, Teammates, Training

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234. The more we get together.

Saturday, August 29, 2009; 11:04 PM

Heh, familiar faces? i haven been taking much photos with them.

I thought we were eating out today but it ended up to be a family dinner at home.

A sudden decision to head to Island Creamery for ice cream. :)

Met up with Uncle Joei and family and we ate. :)

Had bandung & pulat hitam ice cream. :)

not bad, talked and did some catching up.

Between the kids, between the adults. :)

So yes, i've been cut away from the cyber world for long.

o.o.

So thursday was 3 session of trainings.

drained dead max.

I'm still wondering, where the hell did i get all those courage from.

Power comes with desperation.

Hmm, so true.

Friday training was also 3 session.

40mins run was the best.

Happily increase the speed, following the rhythm of the song,

ended up with both knees numbed.

Tried sleeping in the shed but mp3 was playing some screwed songs.

Kept next-ing and the batt went flat eventually. -.-.

Headed home after batheing, unpacked and packed.

out of house again.

I only had lets say less than 1 hour of rest that night.

That explains the chui eyes in the picture above.

Yes lah, geh kiang lah.

Friday 3 session training, dont wanna rest,

then next day got Coach Kaiyang's training somemore.

Totally headed into the shed, feeling fucking shag.

Gulped down the can of redbull which i got Cath to get for me.

Training started, and thankfully fartleg wasnt as tough.

Was on k1 today and im starting to get used to xiaoliangjing's tilting and gliding.

not bad, followed by 10 x 250m.

PT was not given but the other canoeist had to do 3 sprint sets.

I was excused due to the chui knees.

I feel like hammering and smashing my own knees at times.

like, picture me, taking a hammer, smashing my own knees.

then you see the bones, falling out, into pieces.

ahhh...

So it was kind of a terms and condition thing to argue with Coach to excuse us from PT.

I promised to attend training tomorrow and i will!

Will then head home to rest before heading to Night safari for work. :)

ahhh, this 4 weeks, tell me how am i going to survive.

Dont make me hate you guys.

Dont do things that would actually force me to have no choice.

I'm starting to have second thoughts about you.

Damn rubbish.

Its all just down to one point.

Your mentality.

Life is getting a little boring,
Training takes up monday - friday.

Work takes up wed morning and sunday afternoon.

Im left with the whole of sat and sun morning.

i need entertainment..

最猛的是我有傻傻的勇气
如果没有奇迹我创造一个给你
好的坏的都是我的要撑到底
你让我相信我可以

-
you're a miracle.

你的温柔陪我坚持到最后

Labels: Family, Training

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229. Miffy.

Sunday, August 23, 2009; 2:31 PM

I'm dead tired.

i have work at 6pm later.

i'm gonna nap soon.

and this blog is damn dead and so.. idk.

mood has been way too down till idk what to say.

manipulation of mind is not like, strong enough i think.

I'm getting more and more chui each day.

I wonder how many more times of this thrashing i can take till i really break.

whats wrong, with this world.

whats wrong, with me.

k, dun wanna blog anymore.

like, totally no time to do any other much stuff.

other than training, studying and working.

RP blocked out internet access which is good too cause i would study instead of surfing the net when my intention is to head school early to study.

so, after UT would be training, reach home late, no energy to use the lappy, and the next day starts all over again.

so, equivalent to no time to blog.

I think i've made yet another mistake.

and idk what to do or say to salvage this entire thing.

depressing, fucking depressing.

ok, going to rest now.

goodnight.

Labels: School, Training, Work

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223. Insomnia.

Saturday, August 15, 2009; 6:30 PM

:):).

hee, ok.

so work at 6pm - 12.30am ytd. T.T

Customers were like flooding the shop.

Alot of customers pissed me off.

rude, super rude, super mad, roar.

esp _. tskkk, hate it man.

i missed my company transport back to cck. =(

took cab mac.

Mercs, midnight charge. T.T

$10.80 please.

$10.80 = 2 hours of my pay!

FUCKING SAD PLEASE!

emo max, hurry home, bathe and hurry sleep.

I took quite awhile before i slept because i was damn awake.

Penned down my thoughts before sleeping.

Yeap.

Woke up at 6am, bathe, and took the paddle out.

Hate unwanted attention, swear.

Everyone was looking at me like as if i was a monster. =(

ITS JUST A LONG PADDLE WHY!?

And someone in the bus grab my paddle again.

and when i alighted the bus, the paddle was knocking the ceiling, pole or whatever like nobody's business.

super xintong! =(

thanks to the dragonboat competition held in LSR lorh. have to bring paddles home, then back to macritchie. grr.

Training was fine. till the second part.

knees went icy cold.

sigh, i dun want my knees to die on me, one more time, im gonna see a doctor. =(

sigh, rah, hate it.

PT, bathe, back to LSR to put back paddle, then lunch.

headed with Xiaojun, Angeline to take mrt back to west.

Sudden decision.

very impulsive! always one leh.

alighted at cck, to get our hair cut.

Nope, i'm not in a bad mood. Just wanted to cut.

No much diff lah, just that my left ear, very cold. LOLLLLL!

Xiaojun looks super cute. HAHAHAHAHA! Little elf.

movie with the wees tonight!

how happening!

family bonding yo!

LOL.

Then it would be training and working tomorrow. :)

That 6 long messages made me smile, laugh and read through over and over again.

Hmm, maybe it was me who overlook everything.

Didnt realise, didnt thought i would mean that much, to you.

I dont know about me,

but i know,

You're like an angel sent from above. :)

amazingly lovely.

Labels: Family, Haircut, Training, Work

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216. Gutbuster, Fear barrier.

Saturday, August 8, 2009; 7:41 PM

Didnt get to meet drey at 10pm.

Went out alone to get stuffs that i need.

walked back to Northvale and sat below my block.

Someone came and accompanied me.

Thanks, you. :) Sorry if i did made you worry. and i hope i didnt utter rubbish.

I guess is was quite alright right? i mean, i knew what i was saying.. :/

just, when we were about to end off, i kept laughing and laughing? :/

Thanks, for sending me right up to my doorstep. :)

Thanks for rushing down just to pei wo.

Sorry to make you worryyy.

thankyou thankyou! :) Love you max. :)

Woke up this morning.

It wasnt much of a hangover but i just felt, i could continue deep sleeping.

drag myself to LSR, slept awhile and training started.

5 bigs marathon rounds followed by 10 sets of 250m with Xiaojun.

Sets was good, despite the pain in the knee. :/

PT, everything chop chop, had fun after training while watching others wash boats.

then bathe, lunch, and headed home for a short nap.

woke up dinner. T.T omg full.

and slackkkking now.

Gonna do schedule for the team later, and am gonna wash clothes.

annddd, im turning in early tonight.

tomorrow is a long day.

and i only hope my knee would be able to take it.

training and work from 3pm to 11pm.

The above was given to me from my sweetest partner. :)

heh, i wouldnt deny for the past few days my mood was screwed and bad.

Even while we were paddling today, i swear i was hardcore venting & she was suffering behind. :/

BUT my hardcore venting is not just piak piak piak through my sets one hor! I really did give my best shot, Xiaojun! Power comes with desperation! see, anger makes wonder too! :/

Thanks my dearest partner, thanks for the biscuits. I love you. :)

& also, wanna apologise to Joachim. :/

Sorry ok, i knew you were disappointed. Im really really sorry.

Thanks for being there, i knew you tried you best.

Im sorry for being stubborn, sorry for not listening to you.

& i knew you were worried, but im sorry, im really ok.

I hope you're feeling better today.

Dui bu qii.. :/you hen guilty de.

I do not know how to get through this.

Yes, im scared, i still refuse to break open that door.

Im worried and afraid that i cant control this further.

I do not know how am i gonna deal with it.

Let this be a note to myself,

if i ever set my heart on doing this, i'm gna give my best shot.

fuck, i swear i have to and i will.

just, its gonna be a gut-feel thing.

This barrier, its either i tear it down, or i'll take another route.

slowly, kelroy, slowly.

No more making you cry,

No more them grey skies.

Labels: Friends, NoteToSelf, Training, Xiaojun

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206. KELROY FOR THE WIN!

Sunday, August 2, 2009; 2:01 PM

I OWNED THE WORLD NOW!

WHY?

CAUSE I DID 30 SETS OF 250M FOR TODAY'S TRAINING!

ON A K1 XIAO LIANGJIN!

I CAPSIZE THRICE THOUGH.

SO THAT MAKES 27 SETS OF 250M!

I STILL OWNED THE WORLD!

ok bye.

off to scoop ice cream.

3pm - 11pm.

bless me.

Labels: Training, Work

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205. Better in time.

Saturday, August 1, 2009; 7:04 PM

work was managable. :)

due to the shortage of people, agreed to extend till 12am.

however, Weawea says its ok, so i left at 11pm.

it feels good to start working again.

I met Wilson. :) hee.

"Hi, welcome to ben & jerry's!" (Y)!

hahaha.

working with friends is a good thing. :)

kept disturbing Enna. heh heh heh. :)

did main kiosk and thank goodness because i bet the scooper was having such a hard time.

11 small 4 toppings and 2 dips. WAH LAO!?

Anw, new comer happens to be my primary school friend.

Charmaine Koh. Wah its been long man man man.

so time flies quickly and 11pm, punch out, off we go!

training today was suppose to be chui.

Hardcore capsizing because Xiaojun & me tried xiao liangjin today. :)

not bad, gliding of boat = (Y).

water current = (N).

but in anyway, the 10 x 400m sets were good.

tired, face burnt, and after lunch, home, napped and out to buy dinner.

Bored, tired.

Training tomorrow.

hope water current would be slightly better.

ever since NYP DB moved to LSR, it has really been crowded during saturdays.

and the DB's wash is ultimate best one. -.-

after training will head home to nap. then 6pm report at Night safari. :)

working till 11. hehhh.

though its tearing me apart.

though its gonna bring me down.

i guess its just the process.

because by falling, i'll learn.

i know i will.

its a slow death but as far as i know, i'm still able to endure it.

why do this,

because this is the only way left,

to help myself.

I will be ok. :)

ok, BYE! :)

Labels: K2, Training, Work

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198. Back on track.

Sunday, July 26, 2009; 9:16 PM

Thats it.

Thats the end of NWKC.

Disappointed yes but still, overall im glad we made it into the finals.

200m & 500m.

Though 5th for both, it is ok.

New experience gained.

Especially the panicking moment when I caused the capsize of us both just right before the start of the race where all the boats were aligned. :/ Sorry Xiaojun.

But im really glad, because all that we've went through, thank God you stood by me. :)

Despite me being such a %#$#!#$%^&*%$! partner but still, you're patient enough to endure my nonsense.

Sorry for getting so affected for stupid things each time before race or training sets. :/

I will learn how to not bear grudges. I promise.

After Saturday & Sunday,

I saw the true colours of people.

Heartbreaking, it may be.

but i vowed never to let my J feel this way.
Never.

OK, time to get back everything.

Re-assembling all my thoughts and focus.

come again, once more.

1) School work & Canoeing.

2) Working.

3) Rest.

Yes, have been accepted and am going back to work.

Never in AMK anymore but i have to sacrifice to work for long hours.

Friday - 6 to 11.

Sunday - 2 to 11.

And I'll make it a MUST to eat dinner with my family every Saturday! :)

Nothing matters much more now than the Wees & the friends.

Life for the upcoming days would be tough.

Especially to juggle between school work, trainings & work.

but i'll try, i'm gonna try, my best.

& when week 16 comes, i promise to do my best in all the UTs.

& when i get my first pay, i'm gonna bring the Wees to Novena for a meal.

& when my knee recovers, i'm gonna start running like mad & train uberly hard.

& I'm gonna make sure, everything i've planned to do, i will do it.

& I'm gonna assure myself that, all the pain and hardwork, will be worth it.

Life is great.

Thank God for everyday!

:) Till then!

Labels: Family, K2, Training, Work

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191. Exhausted.

Saturday, July 18, 2009; 8:41 PM

I see the sparkle of a million flashlights

A wonder wall of stars

But the one that's shining out so bright

Is the one right where you are

-
Gah, miss the hair.

OGAY TRAINING WAS MADLY MADLY CRAZY.

20 rounds to be completed for today and tomorrow's training.

20 BIG ROUNDS MIND YOU! MARATHON ROUNDS YO!

Only completed 9 rounds.

K1 K1 K1!!!

NOBODY HARDCORE VERY LONG NV TAKE K1 THEN CAPSIZE AT PONTOON ONE AH!

$1.

the 9 rounds was seriously crazy. T.T

i was just trying my best to get my rounds done asap.

water heavy, balancing sucks.

knee painnnn...

Yeah, knee injury is back and finally gotten a knee guard.

hope my knee wont rely on it too much.. :/

hope things will go well this coming weekend,

25/26th july for NWKC.

Running and more running.

so dearest knee, dont die on me ogay?

Anyway, macdonalds came out new flavour for flavour burst leh!

BUTTERSCOTCH!

NICE MAX! MAX NICE!

Anw, today juniors training was not easy.

seriously not easy to handle at all.

i hate stress, i hate pressure.

grr.

anw, obvious that there were some who were unhappy.

I cant do much also? :/

I tried to be nice.

really did.

ok nothing much to blog lah.

just dead tired.

alright.

OFF TO DO SHHHAREEEE-DULE.(schedule)

tomorrow training at 8am.

11 rounds.

Ah, daddy's flying off tomorrow for taiwan tmr.

hmmmm.

Goodbye! :D

sudden cravings for : B&J Cake batter.

Enna scooped a big scoop for me the other time i went to zoo.

&. still. love. the. blog. song.

:D:D:D:D!

Labels: Training

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175. Ripped apart.

Monday, July 6, 2009; 10:14 PM

Hello you, you have been real naive this few days yeah?

i would say, dumb, foolish and stupid suits you right now.

Why bother so much when this is what you get?

happy? not.

then?

stupid.

just came back from pioneer not long ago.

i can nv run on the threadmill.

just a small step backwards makes me feel like im gonna fall off anytime.

hate the feeling, dont like running on the threadmill.

the last time i ever took a step on the threadmill was at Northvale gym.

years ago when everyone was alive.

and not only the left knee is affected.

my right knee too.

dear knees,

thanks for wearing out at this point of time.

but i need you with me for nwkc.

stay strong.

dont die on me now.

gym-ed.

my body feels like it has been torned apart.

gah, this is horrible.

the pain is idk.

but this is the one of the pain i enjoy max.

ironic?

insane? ahhhh, fuck that kind of pain.

yeah, im insane and im loving the pain.

rah, rp canoeists are like that. no?

i need to lose weight.

because of a particular incident, i lost weight.

now that its back,

i have to get back to where i was that time.

i dont care how im gonna do it, i will.

swimming tomorrow.

time to relax.

we're gonna be kids. :)

mood is screwed.

screwed to the max.

mixture of feelings.

have been dreaming about some stupid weird stuff this few days.

tell me all this isnt true.

dreams are stupid.

fuck you.

i swear i hate you so much right now.

fskhw.

Labels: Rants, Training

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170. Fat, ttm.

Monday, June 29, 2009; 5:09 PM

whines, im really fat.

i cant stand it.

No im not those kind who is hardcore skinny and hardcore whining that they're fat.

im seriously fat.

I WANT TO EAT AND EAT AND EAT AND NOT GAIN WEIGHT!

went for self training program given by coach.

im sure i ran more than 5km.

ran aimlessly, without anywhere to head to.

ups and downs.

and great. my knee injury is back.

i. dont. like.

home, grab towel everything, head down to the gym.

gym facilities is reallly really limited.

no bar, no spare weights.

no assisted pull up machine.

no bench press.

only dumbells.

and bench.

oh well.

did what i could with what is there.

called wilson down to assist me for the pull up.

done and go homeeee.

then abs.

wah lao, seriously,

i hate the big fat tummy.

=(.

im gonna run tomorrow morning again.

oh goodness.

just kill me..

really dont like.

cant even do pull up.

wth am i doing luh.

cant pull up,

cant shed fats.

no strong abs,

no strong lats.

how?

kelroy = loser.

how depressing.

anw,

my day did start off well.

excluding the part where i woke up at 5am and felt cranky for awhile.

mummy drove me and xiuhui to the airport to picked daddy up.

then we went for breakfast.

after that i went abit too high in car.

laughed like mad.

also, i started to receive text messages at around 6.20am which made my morning a better one.

super happy.

ok i keep thinking its sunday today.

im heading out to eat belated father's day dinner.

yay.

no wait.

boo.

cause.

food = fat.

ARGH!!!!

IM FREAKING DEPRESSED!

Labels: Family, Rants, Training

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151. Perfect in place.

Sunday, June 14, 2009; 9:09 PM

IN LESS THAN A WEEK, NCC!!!
NCC NCC NCC NCC!
lol,
ok throat is down, voice is weird.
So is Xiaojun.

its quite funny to speak on the boat when both our voice is bad.

lol, xiaojun's one is worse..
oh no oh no.
got to take care take care take care!

and to all the other canoeist, take care!

gulp water like mad please!!!

yes, everybody everybody!

ok, sat training was 1 set of 1000m, 500m and 200m in k2.

then headed down in k4 for our 1000m and it started raining like mad.

scary please. the rain was heavy and its quite painful.

vision was blur, water was choppy.

bahhhhhh.

pack up, headed back to LSR to bathe.

Pokes picked me up from khatib and headed down to bugis.

then brought me to bencoolen.

cheap stuff, anddddddddd,

found this. :)

heh, chio ttm please.

wanted to get back the same black everlast but, serves no meaning anymore.

ok, im so gonna protect this and my red everlast baby. =(

todays training was not bad. :)

last chionging session with coach.

so yeah, time to do more reflection and visualisation.

come on k2,k4 jiayou lets go!

im drained.

really.

ever since camp.

wed training.

thur training.

fri training.

sat training.

today training.

tmr training.

tues training.

wed training.

thurs training.

friday rest.

sat ncc.

sun ncc.

(Y)

power.

ok, back to school tomorrow.

whine and whine and continue whinning.

ok i feel like i have alot of things to do.

but i need to get more rest.

totally overslept today.

luckily mum woke me up.

ok, i got to kicked the habbit of snoozing.

seriously.

oh, i've gotten myself a new pair of spects cause i lost the black rectangular one i have.

guess what.

i ordered it that day.

the next day, i found my black spects.

ALWAYS LIKE THAT ONE LEH!~

but nvm, the spects i got was prettayyy.

chio metallic red.

wooo!~

(L)

okok, back to do my stuff,

lovezxzxz.

BYEZXZXZ!

Labels: K2, K4, Training

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150. Canoe camp 2009.

Friday, June 12, 2009; 10:05 PM

HELLLOZXZXZXZXZXZ!

ok, i've lost my voice.

my voice is super, deep and rough. :/

it sounds weird when i start laughing.

okkkk~~~

Camp was, not too boring, not too bad?

just alright. :)

did enjoy myself at certain part of times.

all i know was that im really drained from the first day's training.

especially land training.

Circuit totally killed me.

2 mins of 7 exercises can die.

especially tricep and benchpress.

knock the weights twice on the back of the neck bone while doing tricep. =(

teared a little.

pain okkk...

but after circuit, my arms were screaming in pain.

shaking, shivering. =(

madnessssssss.

second day more relax. but still, it was really scary.

k4 is getting better. so is k2.

switch boat to rp 12.

Hope things will get rather fine.

please please please.

i really need to get used to the rudder asap.

no matter what.

Boats have been shifted to macritchie and i hope training for tomorrow will get better and sunday too!!!!

*starts to chant and pray*

Its one more week to NCC.

thinking about it, makes me uneasy all over.

im really nervous.

its my first race on K2.

my third race with Xiaojun.

My first race on k4 with the k4 crew. :)

Jiayou, jiayou, jiayou!

and my parents are coming down on sunday to support me?

so random, so weird, so. i dunno. :/

but still.

oh well.

gonna whack hard and do my best.

Come on Xiaojun!

Come on K4!

We're gonna make it!

anddddddddd. i dropped my black everlast watch into LSR.

i cried over it for like i dno how long. =(

Placed in on the tape of the 3rd comain of k4.

tape totally came off when we capsized and there goes my beloved watch.

no words can describe how i was feeling at that point of time.

tears just gushed out like nobody's business.

and yeah, to those who think i was crying over something stupid, please go and die.

sigh.

It meant alot to me.

it meant so much to me.

i've only owned it for like 5 months plus.

Its not even half a year old.

im really fucking sad.

and really, really, nothing could be done, and im feeling, super upset.

jie, im really sorry..

i know you're really angry and upset over this but im really sorry.

my bad, that i didnt take good care of it. im sorry.

wrong person to seek comfort to.

your reply was unexpected.

it hurts.

but, forget it.

nothing much matters anm.

Im gonna head to bugis to get a new watch tomorrow.

i know its not gonna be the same meaning or whatever.

but, im really sorry jie.

I wont forget that you've put in great efforts to get it for me as my 18th birthday present.

I love you still, please forgive me.

sigh, heavy hearted when i passed by the spot i dropped the watch. =(

sigh, couldnt do anything much.

guilty, yet... sigh.

ok, im gonna turn in soon.

i didnt really get much rest during camp.

goodnight.

i'll try to update as much as possible.

trainings, UTs, school, NCC.

soon, see you.

Labels: K2, K4, Team, Training

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149. UPCOMING EVENTS!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009; 11:42 PM

CANOE CAMP!

NCC!

because of this two events,

stress everyone like mad please.
YES IM SERIOUS I THINK IM GOING BONKERS I FEEL LIKE DYING EACH NIGHT ROAR TTM!

ok, canoe camp things are settled.

tomorrow is the camp.

hope everything goes smoothly.

and i need to paddle more on k2.

really ttm more.

hope everything will turn out fine.

next, ncc.

school reopens next week.

ncc is next weekend.

and next week training is.

hardcore.

hardcoreeeeeeeee!

NOBODY SCHOOL REOPEN,

THEN INTENSIVE TRAINING PLUS UT ONE LUH!

LIKE THAT HOW TO RUSH DOWN TO MACRITCHIE WHEN YOU GET TO LEAVE SCHOOL AT 5 AND MACRITCHIE CLOSE AT 6 FOR PADDLING!?!?!?!

HUH HUH HUH!??!?!?!?!?!

stupid system.

pfft.

OH SHIT LUH IM REALLY NERVOUS STRESS WHATEVER YOU CALL IT!

SHAKES INSIDE TTM! =(

OK ENJOY CAMP!

BAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

pokes ttm. :)

Labels: Rants, Training

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