Yesterday marked the end of Semester one.
Everyone is moving on for now.
Why is it when we realise how close we've come together and time left is so little.
By the time we starts to treasure and cherish, its actually time to bid farewell.
Then you corner yourself and recall, those memorable little times.
Memories that leave you smiling, laughing to yourself, then slowly, you'd end up tearing.
I remember walking out of the house feeling tired and lethargic, despite the early UT at 8.30am,
I still drag myself up and all.
Adventure Education UT ended, then headed to eat, then sat at the same corner, to study.
It then came to me that, in another few more hours, we're all gonna clear our last UT and when will be the next time all of us, gather together.
River of dreams.
This tune, this melody, was played on repeat.
Slowly, i start to remember, i start to recall, i started smiling, i started crying.
This semester, would be the best semester so far.
Because i had Xiaojun with me, because i knew greater and better friends.
Because everyday was filled with joy. Everyday had turned out better due to people around me.
I'm starting to miss going to class.
Even if grades would be downgraded by 0.5, i wouldnt mind, just to have happy meals.
Maybe, just maybe, i've allowed my emotions to take over everything by now.
I thought i should have alr got used to RP's style of changing classes each semester.
Maybe i shouldnt place hard feelings into this because SHL is a small group and we'll still be in the same block.
Still, at the back of my mind, i want this to last.
Let me be greedy, for this once, because i really want it till eternity.
I remember texting both Xiaojun & Joachim before our Health and Wellness UT and i totally stoned.
I told Joachim this feeling feels worse than Graduation.
He replied, "Graduation was the end of the journey. Ours, wont."
Heavy hearted.
I dont even know i should start breaking down or start smiling.
Remember the MSN conversations we had,
those that cracked us up so badly that we had to laugh softcore-ly behind our screens.
Joachim would always be the first to burst into laughter, especially during IPA.
Meimei would then start saying, "I don't know whats so funny, Joachim".
Then you'll see people like Xiaojun, Minghee, Bernice and me bursting out laughing too as well.
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Remember how we actually tease each other about liking who.
I remember Xiaojun's.
I remember Joachim's.
Lol.
Remember how we actually look forward to IPA because of Hee!
We'd then give eye contacts and start smiling.
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Remember how we used to laugh at people's pronounciation and start typing the word out.
How we used to comment on people's dressing.
Today go partorh with who.
Today go wedding.
*laughs*.
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Remember IPA.
Remember Joachim coming into class with a beanie and then removing it, which got us, O.O! OMGWTFTOTALLY!
Remember Xiaojun's blur face whenever she walked into class.
Remember how she TSK facis and how she cont fb-ing with the heck care face when faci says, "Xiaojun, contribute".
Remember how Minghee treated her students as if it was a military camp.
Remember how Ben always go, "Lurve eu deep deepzx."
Remember Adam's Partytank.
Remember Siuching's collar tee with laosai pants.
Remember this, remember that.
Remember the best times we ever had.
Do you?
I sure do.
I wouldnt really say we've bond to the max max.
but, its been a long way.
I know i'll still see all of you again.
But, tell me, if it would ever remain this way, the same as before.
Not letting it fade,
not letting it turning into, "hello." "goodbye." friends.
After walking out of the classroom, after saying goodbye to Joachim,
Xiaojun & I headed to the complex. I thought my heart sank really badly.
Gym was crazy enough, the weights I'm taking wasnt of usual weights.
Abs was done with much more endurance.
Bathed, and had a talk with you.
Heartless, bastard, i know i'm one.
I know i sucks, and never was perfect.
Watching your backview as you took your leave,
feeling your tears on my shirt.
Im sorry, thats all i could ever say.
As cold as i am, i cant feel a thing.
Numbed, immuned, because i have to get used to doing all that i've done.
to hurt others, to hurt you.
Dinner, and back to CCK.
With Xiaojun & Angeline.
Alighted, met Joachim.
Bought Heineken.
Sat at the bench in Northvale, drank, random chats, laughters, going crazy, hearing cat's meowing loudly.
Head got really heavy, refuse to allow tears to give way, refuse to speak anything right through.
Times up, send them off to the station, thank goodness that they were able to catch the last train.
Then slowly, made my way home.
Unpacked, headed to shower, washed up.
Started writting, or rather, scribbling.
Set aside the book and pen, laid down,
feeling hopeless, feeling helpless.
With the phone in my hand, texting was hard.
It was hard to type, it was harder to press the send button.
I did it all still, maybe because i wasn't holding back anymore.
or rather, i didnt have the strength to hold back.
Thank God for everything.
Friends He've sent to me are the greatest angels on earth.
Im glad, im grateful, for everything.
Assurance, thats all i ever need.
I'll keep this band glowing, & i'll smile each night, knowing you're with me, Xiaojun.
Oh! i didnt realise i've took up 1 hour of my time to blog. o.o
oh gosh.
ahh, alright, i need to end this like soon, its a long entry.. :/
So today would be the start of intensive training. no wait, tomorrow.
And i'll be training all the way till next friday, to get my break - Saturday.
I'm gonna live with it, i'm gonna do what it takes to heal both my knees.
I'm thinking of consuming Anlene. Makes me feel old. :/
but if its working, why not.
Big thanks to the 3 of you, for coming down to CCK to drink with me.
& i heard Angeline got abit cannot make it ah. :/
Phew, luckily she didnt take in the whole can.
*laughs*.
Thanks,
big thankyouzx. :)
And special thanks to Adeline too,
touched by your concern, :)
Bee, as sweet as honey, love you. :)
*edit*
I read your LJ,
im touched, again.
thanks Adeline,
You know how i feel, words are just not enough to express myself.
thankyou, so much.
*editted*
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And Catherine, life doesnt sucks.
someone told me, life is like shit, but people around you makes it smells better.
We're here for you, you can count on us.
Remote is in your hands, you control it.
its your decision, to perfect your life, or not.
because you know you yourself can be the one that make things better, or worse.
follow your heart, life is short, live it to the fullest.
Nothing worth doing is ever easy, you remember that.
Lastly you, you realise what you've done to me?
<3^o7. I will remember.
more than anything i could ever ask for. :)
Now, don't say this is a emo post,
cause, everything was well summed up beautifully. :)
Ahh, what a great wednesday. :)
Good day, all. :)
Labels: Class, Deepthoughts, Friends, Joachim, School, Xiaojun