today, was kind of a great day?
training on k1 was fine.
cycling for 2 hours with the team was fine.
i wanted to blog out some good stuff,
then, best.
all ruined, screwed.
=(
fucking.
sad.
while cycling today.
wesley came into my mind.
i laugh at myself for being so silly at that time.
it was rather a cute suggestion though, i thought.
but i guess,
i should back away.
thats the only way to help you.
i should, back off.
i know, i've got to.
no matter what,
whether i want it or not.
in order,
for you, to recover,
i must do this.
i have enough things to handle here.
there are alot of things on list, that needs to be settled.
stop, i say stop coming to me asking me some fucking questions that i really do not wanna answer.
yeah, everything is down to me again.
yes, square one.
whatever.
really.
since each time started off with me, ended off also with me.
yeah luh.
i can never be someone who is as perfect as whoever is perfect out there.
enough.
really, enough ok.
Xiaojun, im sorry.
bear with me,
cause you're the only one that can help me now.
=(.
and pokes, didnt want to ignore you.
but im sorry.
i have to clear things before getting back to you.
sorry.
no matter what,
its always my fault.
no? yes? no?
yes.
Canoe.
this word.
means so much.
brings out much emotions and thoughts.
=(
Everything is down.
many things, many problems.
even the body is giving me problems.
changing of hormones?
sucks man.
dont do this to me.
not im not weak, tell me im still healthy.
whats with the cramp, migraine and backaches.
fuck fuck fuck it.